If you thought that Americans had a monopoly on crazy conspiracy theories then you clearly haven’t spent enough time on Japanese forums and blogs. Rumors and crackpot theories abound, such as the notion that Totoro is actually the angel of death. Most recently, the Japanese blogosphere is swarming with reports that the popular comedy duo 8.6 Second Bazooka (8.6秒バズーカ) are actually ethnic Koreans trying to spread subliminal anti-japanese sentiments, and poke fun at the tragedy of the atomic bomb. The logic behind these rumors is laughably flimsy, even as conspiracy theories go, so cast off your skepticism, and put on your tin foil hat as we dive in deep.
Before we go any further, I highly recommend you familiarize yourself with 8.6 Second Bazooka here. There is even an English version making the rounds which makes the so-called “comedy” even more surreal. One look is enough to determine that their act is a bunch of fast-paced nonsense, chanted over a crude rhythm. Unless you are a Japanese blogger and can pick-up on all the subtle clues. Here are some of the best.
8.6 Seconds is a reference to the Atomic Bombing of Hiroshima
8.6 is actually believed to be a reference to the August 6th atomic bombing of Hiroshima. The term “Second” is in fact calling for a second bombing of Hiroshima. Forget that the Japanese word for second is read byou and not second.
There are several theories about what this means, but one thing the blogosphere agrees on is that it means something. The most common theory is that in kanji it ought to be rendered 落寸号令雷, a coded command to drop to the bomb. Even in Japanese this phrase makes almost no sense, much less why an English speaking pilot would be given a confusing command in coded Japanese. A competing theory is that this is a Japanized pronunciation of “Lusting God Laid Light” – which has something to do with…the atomic bombs being a divine plan…? Surely you see that, right? Of course there is my personal favorite. That they are really saying “Razzin’ God Raylight” – which of course means, “teasing the sacred rising sun!”
Foie Gras, Caviar, Truffle, Spider, Flash, Rolling Thunder
This one is obvious isn’t it? I mean come on. Naturally foie gras, being fatty goose liver is a reference to the atomic bomb “Fat Man” and caviar being tiny eggs is a reference “little boy.” So then truffle – an expensive French mushroom – is a reference to the “mushroom cloud” – I mean it has the word spider right there, which as we all know is kumo (蜘蛛) in Japanese, which is a homophone for cloud (雲). Get it? Truffle Spider= mushroom cloud. Surely if you were clever enough to pick up on those then you can see “flash” and “rolling thunder are describing the explosion of the bomb.
Chotto Matte was painted on the US bomber planes
Well sure, it wasn’t painted on the Enola Gay itself, but this slogan was painted on a B29 Bomber which is the same type of plane that bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki. This actually holds some water – it was common to paint messages on American bombers and fighter planes to taunt the Japanese soldiers, and there was in fact a bomber with the phrase chotto matte, or “wait a minute” painted on the nose. Sure the connection is about as tangential as 7 degrees from Kevin Bacon, but we’re building a case here!
Their poses are mocking the Hiroshima Peace Memorial
Everyone knows the poses of the figures on the Hiroshima peace memorial. Oh wait, you don’t? Well no, not the main memorial arch. No, not the atomic bomb dome either – you know, that smaller “prayer for peace” statue that is in the peace park. Here is an image to refresh your memory.
Now look at this pose!
It is practically the same, right! I mean sure, they are dancing around and making lots of poses, but this one must be mocking the victims of Hiroshima. I mean these guys are ethnic Koreans, so they must love the bombing of Hiroshima. Forget that also in the same peace park is this other monument dedicated to the 20,000 Korean victims of the bombing.
There are countless other things I could point out, like the sunglasses they wear being like General Douglas MacArthur’s, but I think I have made my case. Forget about the illuminati, the lunar landing hoax, the 9-11 inside job – Japanese children are at risk of having their minds corrupted by evil third generation Koreans through obscure, subliminal messages and now we have the proof! Go start the fires, we’re burning a witch tonight!